The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night bokeh by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for bokeh caterwauling) to the receptionist the bokeh next morning, memek she rolled her eyes and porn declared the woman an ‘actrice’, memek or bokep sex worker.

Now, porn according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, bokeh it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and memek all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokeh the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, bokeh you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: bokep there’s sex as performance art, bokeh and bokeh sex as genuine intimacy. And bokeh when a woman is genuinely aroused, memek trusts her partner and bokeh is not fearing for bokeh a fragile male ego, bokep she’s far more likely to gently sigh and porn moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, bokeh female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, bokeh they’d explain, bokeh so they crot could make their partner feel happy, memek while conserving their energy for bokep other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and memek ‘manipulation’, memek and porn that women were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory porn vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, crot so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokeh the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: memek ‘I’m enjoying this, memek but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, memek ladies?

bokeh The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, crot where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland bokeh said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling memek drowned out their TVs: bokep ‘As far as I’m concerned, crot that’s what porn you should be doing.’

Well, crot only if you want to attract a bokep certain kind of attention.

In their book, bokep Sex At Dawn, memek Christopher Ryan and bokep Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest memek primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and porn keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, crot I can understand bokep the need to advertise. But if you’re not, crot then men should take heed: bokeh the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris

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